First, take a look at this website.
This is just too funny... I was skimming over several pages of the website and found a few things that just made me LOL literally.
Take this example from the "directions for use" page.
2. Have a locked cabinet
Aliens have taken ten helmets from abductees and several Velostat lined baseball caps. If you are not wearing a hat they will go through your entire house looking for them. They will not, however, go into a locked cabinet. Before you make a helmet have some kind of cabinet or trunk that you can lock. That way they won’t take it.
BAHAHAHAHAHA! What keeps an alien from going through a locked cabinet?
4. Secure the helmet with tape or string
Almost any kind of tape or string wrapped around the helmet several times will prevent aliens from removing the helmet if they manage to get close to you.
Aliens have somehow figured out how to space travel, but they can't get a hat off someone's head if its taped on?
6. Where the helmet as often as possible
I guess good grammar is not a prerequisite for fighting off alien forces!
I could go on forever, this site is just TOO funny... back to work.