Friday, February 22, 2008

I'm SO making one of these!

First, take a look at this website.

http://stopabductions.com/

This is just too funny... I was skimming over several pages of the website and found a few things that just made me LOL literally.

Take this example from the "directions for use" page.

2. Have a locked cabinet

Aliens have taken ten helmets from abductees and several Velostat lined baseball caps. If you are not wearing a hat they will go through your entire house looking for them. They will not, however, go into a locked cabinet. Before you make a helmet have some kind of cabinet or trunk that you can lock. That way they won’t take it.


BAHAHAHAHAHA! What keeps an alien from going through a locked cabinet?

4. Secure the helmet with tape or string

Almost any kind of tape or string wrapped around the helmet several times will prevent aliens from removing the helmet if they manage to get close to you.


Aliens have somehow figured out how to space travel, but they can't get a hat off someone's head if its taped on?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

6. Where the helmet as often as possible

I guess good grammar is not a prerequisite for fighting off alien forces!

I could go on forever, this site is just TOO funny... back to work.

5 comments:

Tiffany S said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA! What keeps an alien from going through a locked cabinet?

They don't have the keys. Duh.

I guess good grammar is not a prerequisite for fighting off alien forces!

Everyone knows that all the smartest people in the world were abducted by aliens...Newton, Einstein, Galileo...

Now that Bush is president, they're obviously looking for scientific evidence of what has gone wrong with the human race, therefore abducting the IQ-challenged humans to study.

Michael Menkin said...

The comments are real Dave.

I do report what real aliens do, not what you think they will do.

The aliens are not as dextrous as we are and they can't remove a helmet secured with tape or string. It's not funny, it's the truth. It's also the truth that they can read our minds

Michael Menkin said...

Thanks for the grammar correction. I will correct it this Thursday,k April 10.

Michael Menkin said...

Thanks for the grammar correction. I will correct it this Thursday, April 10.

Michael Menkin said...

The directions section of Stopabductions.com is corrected for grammar and updated with a background section on the difference between alien behavior and human behavior.

Many skeptics and critics of alien abductions, UFOs and alien encounters confuse reports of alien behavior with human behavior. The skeptics expect that aliens will behave like “super humans” with what they think aliens should have as advanced technology and knowledge. Like most skeptics, they never research any material or interview people claiming to have encounters. Aliens from space have a totally different culture than humans and behave very differently, including responding to human surroundings.

Investigators like Budd Hopkins and Dave Jacobs have many reports of tremendous differences between aliens from space and humans.

Although aliens from space have incredible technology, they are also living things with limitations. As an example: in one alien abduction case, a woman successfully thwarted aliens from taking her by wrapping many strands of string around her body, then having her husband hide the scissors. When the aliens came to take her they could not remove the string she had wrapped around her, although they had the technology to walk through walls, make themselves invisible and levitate her to their space ship. They were very angry at the woman but were unable to remove the string so they did not take her. They just left to come again when she did not have string wrapped around her. This scenario is on the page, Alien Capabilities and Incapabilities which is in Michael Menkin’s website, aliensandchildren.org.